Lessons and Regrets

I've been a father for almost six years.  During those years I've learned quite a bit about many subjects I never spent much time considering prior to the moment my wife told me the news.  Some lessons I wish I hadn't learned (are you reading out there lamaze instructor?) and yet so many lessons I wish I had learned before the doctor was handing me surgical scissors and giving instructions about cutting the umbilical cord.

I know most of us live with varying degrees of regret about choices we've made through our lives, mostly because the results of those choices often stray from what we anticipated (if we thought that far ahead at all) when we made them.  I have my fair share as well, but almost all of those pale in comparison to the regrets I have about poor parenting decisions I've made (and unfortunately will continue to make despite my best efforts). 

For me, the fact that every choice I make as a father has the potential to affect my children in ways I can't always control is sobering and challenging.  Even more sobering is the fact that they learn so much not just by what we say but by what they see us doing. 

We are shaping their ideas about the world, marriage, gender roles, spiritual health, physical health, discipline, success, etc...  That's a heavy responsibility if we think ahead and imagine the type of adults we want our children to become (I'll assume that most of us want our children to be successful, independent, articulate, expressive, intelligent, disciplined, caring and driven).
 

That's a challenge each of us faces daily, to be better than we were yesterday for the sake of our children's tomorrows.  That's easier to say than it is to do but I have to believe this effort will pay off in the end for my sons.  Even when I fail them or when they dislike my parenting methods or choices, I know that one day they will understand and be thankful for the effort.

I can live with my regrets if they are earned from intentional effort toward their tomorrows.